Wish I Was A Punk Rocker
by FinalFantasyHearts-Rinsaito
Summary: Twilight/Heroes/Alex rider/ Wicked Lovely/ Artemis Fowl/ Kingdom Hearts/ Final Fantasy/ Mortal Instruments/ Harry potter/ Tithe- cross-over.Parody. What would each of the characters say if you asked them what their dream job would be?


Wish I Was A Punk Rocker 

_Twilight/Heroes/Alex rider/ Wicked Lovely/ Artemis Fowl/ Kingdom Hearts/ Final Fantasy/ Mortal Instruments/ Harry potter/ Tithe cross-over. ONE SHOT 'What do you want to be when you leave school? When you grow up, if you weren't dead?' Parody. _

"What do you want to be when you're older?"

I looked up, silently wondering when we had moved onto this topic of conversation. Schools were all the same, too interested in our privacy and what we wanted to do later in life. They couldn't mind their own business for five minutes, could they?

"Edward, what about you?" I looked over to the back of the classroom where Edward and Bella sat, not paying particular attention to the lesson. I rolled my eyes; did they have to flaunt their perfect lives everywhere they went? Even in print? Edward looked up absently from Bella, and towards the teacher.

"I beg your pardon?" The teacher laughed, nervously.

"That's quite alright, Edward. What would you like to be when you leave school?" she asked him, if possible making a pass at him - had she not noticed that Edward and Bella were joined at the hip? Idiotic woman. He thought about this for several moments, then shrugged.

"I've finished school thirty-two times, and I still can't tell you."

"Oh," was her only reply, "Nothing at all?" he sighed, then shook his head, but reconsidered adding,

"Actually, I'd like to be a good father."

"You are a good father," Bella sighed next to him.

"Father? Well, I meant as a job…"

"I don't need a job - I have enough money as it is." Edward told her, grimly.

"Okay, what did you want to be when you were younger?"

"Younger, as in a few years ago or before I died?" he asked her, quizzically.

"Ever! What have you wanted to be in the past-no matter how silly? Ever. It doesn't matter!" He bit his lip, then replied.

"I've always wondered what it would be like to work at McDonald's…"

"Right…let's move on then." the teacher looked around at us, choosing her next victim, Edward was looking dazedly into space - perhaps wondering what his dream job was like in practice. McDonald's? Honestly - Vampires these days, they had no standards. He could have at least picked Burger King.

"Alex…" she cooed, descending on yet another of the 'beautiful people' of the class. He looked up at her angrily, taking out his headphones, and flipping over his notebook when she tried to examine his doodles.

"What?" he was having one of those moody-teenage-spy days, who could blame him?

"What would you like to be when you grow up?"

"I doubt I'll live that long." he replied, and moved to replace his headphones, she stopped him with a firm hand.

"Alex…"

"I could have you arrested for that," he told her seriously, as he glared at her hand - still resting on his arm.  
"No, you couldn't, Alex," she replied with a warm smile and an, if slightly nervous, chuckle.

"Actually, under law - he could." Contributed a voice from the furthest desk from the front.

"Who said that?" the teacher called, a little peeved at being corrected.

"I, Artemis Fowl the second. Would you like to discuss it further with my lawyer?" he replied eloquently, she gulped - it was Artemis, she was not going to argue.

"Sorry, Alex." she told him, wondering where her career had gone that she was apologising to teenagers and vampires.

"It doesn't matter,"

"You haven't answered my question. What would you like to be when you leave school-assuming you survive, contrary to your belief?" he glared at her, and turned his Ipod off.

"I would like to be…" he thought about it for a moment before continuing, "I'd like to be an engineer"

"An engineer?" she repeated, Alex Rider nodded. "Why?"

"It pays well, has no public eye, and I can't get killed - unless a car falls on me." he replied.

"Okay, thank-you, Alex. Who's next?" she asked him, with a rather fake smile.

"Don't ask me, you're the teacher - teach." and he replaced his earphones, and heavy metal could be heard across the room.

"Kaye, what about you?" Kaye looked up from Roiben's hand, which she had been drawing Celtic patterns over, and shrugged.

"I want to be a tattooist." she drawled back.

"Why?"

"Because it looks like fun, and it's not hard," she explained.

"Would Roiben let you?" the teacher asked, Roiben shook his head determinedly.

"No, I would not."

"Why not?" Kaye whined, being his courtier didn't mean she would give in.

"Because, the king of the Seelie and Unseelie court cannot have a tattooist for a courtier," he told her sternly.

"You liked me when I was a school girl!" she replied, tartly

"I still like you..." Roiben said calmly, Kaye pouted.

"Lolita-lover!" she taunted Roiben angrily. "Fine, I'll be a stripper instead," she told the teacher.

"You know I would not allow that more so than being a tattooist," he told her

"Which is exactly why I just said it." Roiben nodded

"I guessed."

"It wasn't hard…" Edward commented from the back, Roiben turned to him angrily

"This is none of your business, vampire." spat the faerie.

"I take that as a personal affront!" Simon called, from a seat close to Kaye and Roiben

"My apologies, Simon."

"Don't worry about it" he replied sheepishly - probably not expecting a reaction, let alone an apology.

"Calm down, class!" the teacher pleaded from the front of the room, as she watched the class argue over Kaye's occupation.

"I've decided that Corny, Luis and I are better off with the coffee house - I suppose" Kaye sighed, Roiben kissed her cheek, lightly.

"I agree,"

"You would."

"Well, that was interesting. Harry, what would you like to be?"

Harry Potter groaned and licked his lips in thought.

"The next dark lord, I think."

"What!? After we spent all that time beating the last one, you wanna be the next?" Ron stood up in his seat and turned to him, yelling

"Hey, it's a good career move these days - the villain always wins."

"Being the bad guy is always the best route," Agreed Sylar, who was sitting next to Harry.  
"It's him! He's poisoned your mind, Harry!"

"On the contrary - his mind's already far too muddled to find anything useful in." Sylar told Ron with a grin.

"You're such a gay!" was all Ron could come up with to argue the claim.

"Ron, that's rude." Hermione chided - the voice of reason in chaos.

"I have nothing against gay people," Ron replied.

"Then why did you say it?" Harry asked.

"because-well," he paused searching for a reason, then pointed hastily to Sylar "look at his eyebrows! They're freakish!" everyone looked at Sylar, who grinned at the attention, and sat back in his chair with an air of superiority. Everyone gulped, and looked away.

"Anyway, dark lords get a good pension" Harry explained.

"They do?" Ginny asked with interest, not at all phased that her boyfriend wanted to replace Voldemort.

"Yeah, if you live long enough."

"Teenaged masterminds do far better in the real world." Artemis interrupted the conversation.

"They do?"

Artemis nodded, then sighed. "But, you don't even have the mental capacity of a snail, so, I'm afraid you wouldn't do well in that particular line of work"

"Are you calling my boyfriend thick?" Ginny yelled, standing up and facing Artemis, who smiled back at her

"You said it, not me."

"Class! On topic, please," Ginny turned to her, glaring angrily.

"This is bullying! Aren't' you going to do anything?" she demanded, the teacher stared blankly at her.

"No, why would I? - this is the British education system." she looked around for another person to ask, ignoring an angry Ginny who was reaching for her wand.

"Why the next dark lord?" Ron asked him in confusion.

"Hey - it's a recession, gotta find work somewhere." Harry shrugged.

"Clary - you're next" my sister looked up at the teacher and blinked.

"Next, what?" the teacher sighed - did no one listen in this class?

"What would you like to be when you're older?" Clary closed her eyes for a minute, then looked back at the teacher.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the teacher," she replied, Clary nodded.

"Yeah - I know that. But, what's your name?"

"Miss Parker - did none of you listen when I told you that?" she asked, puzzled by this. The class all shook their heads.

"You said your name?" Seth asked, she nodded

"You actually have a name?" Sylar asked, again, she nodded

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I wondered if you were a plot tool…" Sylar replied, then continued to talk to Harry, as if the exchange hadn't happened.

"Clary, what would you like to be?" she sighed and looked up from her sketch pad

"I'd like to be someone else."

"Who?" Miss Parker asked, interested by this answer finally.

"Anyone who isn't related to him" Clary said, pointing to me. I frowned.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked, angrily.

"Well, it's incest otherwise, isn't it?" Clary asked me, I sighed and nodded

"Good point - I agree with that career move." everyone looked at us for a minute.

"Hardly a career move." Edward sighed, I ignored him – what would a vampire know? From my experience...very little indeed.

"Did you say incest?" Hermione asked, appalled.

"What's incest?" Harry asked, puzzled.

"I'll tell you when you're older." Ginny promised.

"And you're the good guys?" Sylar asked me in humour - I nodded "and they say I'm a bad person." he whistled.

"You eat people's brains!" Keenan yelled, Sylar turned to him.

"That's never been proven..." he replied, smiling his predatory smile

"You're sick!" Keenan replied tartly.

"Want me to eat your brain, Kingling?"

"Er…No, thank-you." Keenan replied, his face flushing slightly.

"Anything else - which doesn't involve incestuous relationships with your brother?" Miss Parker asked Clary. Clary shrugged.

"Not really…"

"How about a vampire slayer?" I teased, Simon glared at me.

"It's not my fault I'm a vampire - it's yours!"

"It's not my fault Clary doesn't love you - it's yours," I replied, he growled angrily at me, and Sylar grinned.

"Oh, will there be blood?" he asked, happily

"What would you like to be, Artemis?" Miss parker asked, turning away from the chaos.

"Does this have any relevance to our education, or lives?" he asked, boredom creeping into his tone.

"No…"

"I thought not - do you not have a curriculum to follow?" Miss Parker sighed.

"So? You're supposed to be a genius - so you'll know it all already."

"Flattery will get you everywhere." he informed her, she nodded sadly - she'd worked that out a little while before.

" What would you like to be?"

"Well, I've already successfully regained the family fortune, proven the existence of the good people, created that best super computer in existence and travelled through time - is there much more I can do?"

"Blow up New York?" Sylar suggested, Artemis sighed.

"That's an interesting idea…" he considered.

"Artemis – remember, you're a good guy now!" Holly chided, Artemis sighed again.

"What she said," Sylar frowned.

"And I was going to ask you to join me in world domination..." he pouted slightly.

"As long you didn't eat my brain." Artemis replied.

" Would I do that to you, Artemis?" Sylar asked with a grin.

"If it gave you any advantage – yes." Sylar considered this, then bowed his head.

"You're right actually - no hard feelings."

"None taken." Artemis assured him with a smile. Holly rolled her eyes in exasperation.

Author's Note: Sorry, Miss Parker. You're a great teacher – the name just popped into my head. Meant to be a one shot...but, I'm turning it into a three part story. Or two part...depending on how popular it is :)


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